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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Melissa

So my boy Rorschach Visit his blog here wanted a more happier dating story. This one goes out to him.

About 5-6 years ago I was with a girl named Melissa. She was the captain of our high school cheer leading squad. Cute girl, blondish, short, nice curves and pretty fit. Well we decided to go out one night in summer. I just got my new car, a Honda S2000 convertible and we decided to take that for a spin.

I picked her up, got a bite to eat, and then we decided to go back to her house. We dropped the top and headed home. We got to her neighborhood and I was driving down her street when I saw this thing just run across the street. I slammed the breaks and told her I just saw something freaky.

She looked outside asking if it was a dog or cat. I told her I didn't know and proceeded to drive slowly to see if she could get a glimpse of the animal. All of a sudden I heard a loud grumble of a "rib bit" and then Melissa started to scream in horror as if she got stabbed in the neck.

She turns to me and I see the largest frog of life grabbing her face looking like he's trying to rape her mouth. She is screaming and flailing her arms about trying to get the frog off as I sat there cracking up. She finally managed to knock it off but the terror of the frog drove her into this crazy frenzy that she couldn't open the door and just jumped on the seat and hopped out of the car and ran home.

I grabbed the frog and put him in the grass and drove to her house. Her front door was wide open and I walked in to see her pouring soap in her mouth as she is crying telling me the frog's penis was in her mouth.

I never kissed her good night and we stopped dating shortly after.

Stock photo of my car. I still have it and looks the same minus the rims:

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I don't have any pics of Melissa, but this looks like her:

Photobucket

21 comments:

  1. Dude I'm jealous of both your car and your girl e___e

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  2. ....man. That's a dose of crazy.

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  3. man... that frog raped her! lol

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  4. the girl is hot smile looks forced like crazy though

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  5. Hahahaha.
    Well, not quite what I meant when I said 'happy' but this made me laugh, so it was worth the read.
    You are probably the only person I know who has stopped dating someone because they have a bad case of Chronic Frog Penis Breath.

    At least nothing happened to your car.

    Thanks for posting this; it will most certainly be shared tonight. ("Hey dude, you wanna hear a messed up story?...)

    You are going to have a hard time later on if you get married and your wife wants to know about any 'other girls.'

    Keep up this blog, mate.

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  6. omg the car is awsome is it a honda?

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  7. that car, i want the saaaame :p

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  8. Love that car, always wanted an S2K
    supporting and following~

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  9. haha, dude, you were totally in.

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  10. I appreciate you visiting my blog and providing input on my most recent post.

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  11. Holy fucking crap, i'd completely forget about the girl if i had a car like this.
    Nice.

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  12. hey, this is one of my more favorite posts from you :)

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  13. thats what i call a cool car

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